William McCarty, comp. The American National Song Book. 1842.
To a QuidnuncN
In truth, you look a very quiz
Of hypochondriac sorrow.
When things are at their worst, my friend,
’Tis wisely thought that they must mend:
Perhaps they’ll mend to-morrow.
And if not then, why, be not vex’d:
You thus will cheat the devil;
Who, not content with present ills,
Each quidnunc’s brain with terror fills,
Foreboding future evil.
If Yankee doctors do convene
To mend our constitution:
Whether or not we’ve real disease,
A “consultation” gives us ease,
So let’s indulge their notion.
To turn and twist financial budget,
Puzzling for “ways and means?”
Large “means” to purchase ease are yours,
By “ways” bestrew’d with blooming flowers:
Then, I prithee, save thy brains.
Though ’gainst us that great Hill do come,
By Gallia’s power unmoved:
But Yankees have a stronger back;
Then rest secure in “faith,” dear Jack;
Even Hill may be removed.
It grieves my heart, that tax on soles;
But ridicule he merits,
Who, when each family’s sore oppress’d
By imposts, loans, conscriptions—pest,
Would tax “domestic spirits.”
It wrung my withers—that rude act—
Yet full well he rued his pains:
And should Sir Rowland hither come,
To break the peace with noisy drum,
We will “count upon our Gaines.”
Lend not too free thy open ear
To every idle rumour;
A fig for admirals, red or blue,
Or transports, with their motley crew:
Transport us with thy humour.
’Tis nectar fill’d from “high Champlain”—
To M’Donough and Macomb:
While deeds like theirs our annals throng,
We soon shall hear the welcome song
Of proud “Britons striking home.”