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Home  »  Spoon River Anthology  »  148. Roy Butler

Edgar Lee Masters (1868–1950). Spoon River Anthology. 1916.

148. Roy Butler

IF the learned Supreme Court of Illinois

Got at the secret of every case

As well as it does a case of rape

It would be the greatest court in the world.

A jury, of neighbors mostly, with “Butch” Weldy

As foreman, found me guilty in ten minutes

And two ballots on a case like this:

Richard Bandle and I had trouble over a fence,

And my wife and Mrs. Bandle quarreled

As to whether Ipava was a finer town than Table Grove.

I awoke one morning with the love of God

Brimming over my heart, so I went to see Richard

To settle the fence in the spirit of Jesus Christ.

I knocked on the door, and his wife opened;

She smiled and asked me in; I entered—

She slammed the door and began to scream,

“Take your hands off, you low down varlet!”

Just then her husband entered.

I waved my hands, choked up with words.

He went for his gun, and I ran out.

But neither the Supreme Court nor my wife

Believed a word she said.