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John Bartlett (1820–1905). Familiar Quotations, 10th ed. 1919.

Page 801

Sir William Schwenck Gilbert. (1836–1911) (continued)
    Ah, take one consideration with another
  A policeman’s lot is not a happy one!
          The Policeman’s Lot.
    As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
  I ’ve got a little list—I ’ve got a little list.
Of social offenders who might well be under ground
  And who never would be missed—who never would be missed.
          They ’ll none of them be missed.
    Bad language or abuse
I never, never use,
Whatever the emergency;
Though “Bother it” I may
Occasionally say,
I never never use a big, big D.
          The first Lord’s Song.
    Now landsmen all, whoever you may be,
If you want to rise to the top of the tree
If your soul is n’t fettered to an office stool
Be careful to be guided by this golden rule:
Stick close to your desks and never go to sea
And you all may be Rulers of the Queen’s Navee.
          The first Lord’s Song.
    The Law is the true embodiment
Of everything that’s excellent.
It has no kind of fault or flaw,
And I, my Lords, embody the Law.
          The Lord Chancellor’s Song.
    Things are seldom what they seem,
Skim milk masquerades as cream.
          H. M. S. Pinafore.
    On a tree by a river a little tomtit
Sang “Willow, titwillow, titwillow”
And I said to him, “Dicky-bird, why do you sit
Singing ‘Willow, titwillow, titwillow?’